My Mom, the OG Girlboss

Let me preface this by saying that I talk to my family a lot less than most people, I havent really talked to most of my family other than my mother since i was 7, and I havent talked to my mother too much since I was 17.

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Sometimes, when I think about my mom, I realize just how incredible she really is. Growing up, she always downplayed her achievements, talking as if she never even went to university because of how poor her family was. Coming from a rural village in China, it seemed like she didn’t have access to the education or opportunities that most people take for granted. But she did something extraordinary—straight out of high school, she landed an incredible finance job in Hong Kong. And not just any job, but one that changed her life forever.

If I could find a job like that, I swear, I wouldn’t even bother with university either! My mom is the original girlboss, and she girlbossed harder than anyone I know. She was so focused and determined that she made it happen against all odds. She didn’t just get any job; she got a job in Hong Kong during its prime. I mean, who does that at such a young age, coming from nothing? Her job took her from a tiny, impoverished village to one of the most exciting and prosperous cities in the world.

The socioeconomic change she created for herself and our family is something I can’t even begin to comprehend. Even if I landed a top-tier job on Wall Street in New York today, it wouldn’t compare to what she accomplished. When I visit Hong Kong, I can almost feel the energy and promise that the city must have held in the '90s. No matter what I do, I feel like I’ll never live up to the legacy my mom has left behind.

My grandparents still live in a tiny apartment and lead a frugal life, refusing to spend money even on necessities because they see it as too luxurious. They were truly poor, and my mom’s success in Hong Kong was probably beyond their wildest dreams—and maybe even beyond her own. The change she experienced, moving to a place like Hong Kong, is beyond anything I could ever replicate.

I vividly remember the first time I visited Hong Kong with her. We were at Victoria Harbour at night, standing at the edge, gazing up at the skyline filled with fluorescent display boards on towering skyscrapers. There were literal stars in her eyes as she reminisced about how those buildings were just being constructed when she first arrived, and how there was nothing like it at the time. She told me what the ads on the signboards were about back then, and I was acting like I didn’t even care. I was young and dumb, and I guess that’s just the dynamic we had—I always wanted to impress her, but I never showed it.

And then there’s the way she always talked about herself—like she wasn’t pretty when she was young, that she was too fat and that’s why she couldn’t find a good husband. She wanted me to be pretty, and I believed her when she said she wasn’t. But then I went back to China and saw her old photographs. She was stunning—like, are you kidding me? I was so lied to! And it made me question everything, like how I used to think I was ugly because I looked like her, and she always said she was ugly.

I don’t talk to her as much anymore, and it makes me sad. She called me during the Mid-Autumn Festival, but I was napping and missed it. Now, I can’t bring myself to call her back. It’s like I’ve built up this wall, and I don’t know how to tear it down. I just wish I could tell her how much I admire her, how much I wish I could be as cool as she was. But for now, all I can do is try to put it into words.